Clear Light of Day by Anita Desai


 This book is definitely one of my best reads of 2021. I have got no words to describe the intricate manner in which Anita Desai has portrayed the various layers of human relationships and how it becomes strained with years of pent up angst, guilt and resentment. 


The book focuses on four siblings Bim, Raja, Bakul and ther autistic brother Baba growing up in colonial India. Their parents were too busy with socialising and attending parties to pay attention to their children who spent most of their time with their aunt Mira. As three of them grew up and began discovering themselves, they sought their own means of escape from the toxic atmosphere at home. With the possibility of Partition looming in the horizon, their future becomes more uncertain. Soon after Partition, Tara and Raja escape from their hometown in the hope of a better life while Bim decided to stay back with Baba. Bim started resenting her siblings for leaving her alone and never left an opportunity to mock Tara for her posh lifestyle when she visited home every 2-3 years. She severed her relationship with Raja and even refused to attend his daughter's wedding.


The author gives a detailed account of the changing dynamics between the siblings and how small misunderstandings when left unresolved leads to more resentment. Even though Bim tries hard to portray herself as someone strong and independent, but in the loneliest nights she grieves for her brother while reminiscing about the good old days. As Tara points out, she is too harsh on herself. This makes Bim unknowingly seek validation from Tara and even Baba. Tara was portrayed as someone weak and lacking ambitions in childhood and yet she emerges the strongest-- at the end of the day she was the one who had the courage to ask forgiveness from Bim and thus absolves herself of guilt. 


Books which explores human relationships resonate with me and this was no exception. Coupled with Anita Desai's writing, its as if the characters come to life before your eyes. This is a book I would come back to again and again.


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